Your wedding vows are arguably the most important piece of the ceremony. After all, these are the promises you keep once you’re pronounced man and wife!
Tradition has provided us with a fantastic framework, which many decide not to stray from. Today, we want to offer some guidelines, examples and tips to the brides and grooms who want to express their love differently.
1. Don’t Procrastinate!
First, perhaps the most important tip I can offer you is to not wait until the last minute. Actually, this isn’t really a tip- it’s an order!
It can be a difficult task to come up with the perfect thing to say in front of your family and friends. Before you even begin to think about that, make sure that you and your fiancé are on the same page.
Yes, you will want these words to be heard for the first time during your ceremony. However, it’s not off limits to work with your spouse, bounce ideas off of one another and discuss your tone. Will they be funny or serious? Will they tell your story or focus on the future? Will they be a combination of all those things? These are some important questions that should be asked, as they will serve as a great starting point for the direction you wish to go. This leads us to our next point…
3. Create an Outline!
Create an outline for the main points you want to cover. These points can be placed into special moments or stories: how you met, an interesting moment in your relationship, or the proposal – anything that has special meaning to you that you would like to include. Keep in mind that your tone and structure may change, and that’s okay! There is no right or wrong way to structure your vows, as long as they are spoken from the heart. Also, if time allows it, try not to write your vows in one sitting. You will 100% drive yourself crazy!
4. Get Some Inspiration!
Don’t be afraid to Google traditional, civil or unique wedding vows and find inspiration from those sources. There are a lot of creative people in this world, and thanks to the Internet, you have access to their imaginative words!
I would also encourage you to open a few of your favorite books, and look for inspiration in some of your favorite quotes. Allow us to point you in the right direction…
5. Fill In The Blank!
Starting with a particular phrase, and filling in the blank is a great way to structure your vows, while expressing yourself. A popular approach with wedding vows is to include phrases that begin with “I love you because…” These can also be serious and funny. You might love your spouse because they are the most caring person you have ever met. And you also might love them because they have great hair.
Another example of the “fill in the blank” approach, are the promises that you want to make to your spouse. These promises can be anything that you want them to be. They will be unique to your relationship, which means there can also be a funny component to what you want to say. Maybe you promise to let your spouse have control of the remote, or maybe you will volunteer to take out the trash more often.
That’s the beauty of writing your own vows – they can be whatever you want them to be.
Once you have put together your wedding vows, read them aloud and pay attention to the flow. Does the order make sense? Should you move things around? If so, play around with the structure of your vows and continue reading them aloud until you are happy with how they sound.
Remember, at the end of the day, these are meant to be a special exchange of words between you and your spouse. Your vows don’t need to make complete and total sense to everyone. And of course…it’s okay to cry when you read them!
… I’m talking to you boys! Just let it out.